I Decry Agile/Iterative

I hereby decree, from now until forever more, that I shall never engage in iterative software development. I much favor a waterfall approach where all requirements can be determined a priori such as to eliminate all uncertainty and doubt. I admire those all-knowing architects who can ever so accurately predict the entire design of a system up-front.

Furthermore, I decry any and all principles and practices commonly termed “Agile”. The incessant focus on delivering business value to the customer, early and often, leaves me with an empty feeling inside; where there was once years of work with prolonged and protracted delivery of value, now it’s all gone to the customer much too quickly. Alas, I yearn for the days when cubicles ruled the land, the frequent hedge-hogging effect spurned by a colleagues bread-maker alarm going off during an afternoon lull. And what’s this about no over-time? I remember fondly the good old days when management forced us all to think faster, think longer, create faster, create longer. Without that micro-managing motivation, I’ve lost all desire to innovate and produce.

Oh well, I’m sure it’s all just a fad anyway…

… and if you believe that, you are a fool.

Victor Szalvay

Victor Szalvay currently leads product development for CollabNet’s ScrumWorks® product suite. In that capacity, he works closely with customers, stakeholders, and the development teams to deliver high business value each release cycle. With more than 150,000 active users worldwide, ScrumWorks is used by more than half of the Fortune 100 and boasts the largest market share of any Agile management tool.

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