I hereby decree, from now until forever more, that I shall never engage in iterative software development. I much favor a waterfall approach where all requirements can be determined a priori such as to eliminate all uncertainty and doubt. I admire those all-knowing architects who can ever so accurately predict the entire design of a system up-front.
Furthermore, I decry any and all principles and practices commonly termed “Agile”. The incessant focus on delivering business value to the customer, early and often, leaves me with an empty feeling inside; where there was once years of work with prolonged and protracted delivery of value, now it’s all gone to the customer much too quickly. Alas, I yearn for the days when cubicles ruled the land, the frequent hedge-hogging effect spurned by a colleagues bread-maker alarm going off during an afternoon lull. And what’s this about no over-time? I remember fondly the good old days when management forced us all to think faster, think longer, create faster, create longer. Without that micro-managing motivation, I’ve lost all desire to innovate and produce.
Oh well, I’m sure it’s all just a fad anyway…
… and if you believe that, you are a fool.